Rain, Rain, Go Away...

I like rain as much as the next person but it's getting a little ridiculous around here (Los Angeles to be exact). Oh, it's not as bad as the freezing cold and blizzards of snow blanketing the Midwest, East Coast and Europe but, it has been an unrelenting barrage of one storm after another. So, the question begs...what's a girl and a mother of the chauffeuring persuasion supposed to do?

Well, of course, the chauffeuring of Joshua MUST continue no matter what the weather might be so I've been driving him all over town for various playdates, camp and doctor's appointments. In between, I've been running around getting last minute errands and shopping done (not gifts, mostly groceries and baking supplies) before everything shuts down for Christmas.

I have found myself soaked to the bone more than once. And my naturally curly hair, which I painstakingly have blow dried straight since I was a teenager, has been rebelling in a quite unattractive way. If on top of that you factor in my not wearing any make-up (and that is most days) you can only imagine what a vision of loveliness I am to look at. Maybe it's a real good thing and a blessing in disguise that nobody knows who I am because the paparazzi would have an absolute field day with me otherwise.

To maintain (or acquire) some sense of balance so I don't go screaming into the night from the sheer
horrifying sight of myself, I have done what any sane or semi-sane person would do...I have been BAKING A LOT...not non-stop baking mind you (I do have that chauffeuring to do and those errands to run not to mention some work to do) but a lot of baking nonetheless. The last several days I have cranked up The Three Tenors and my local classical station 98.1, donned my adorable pinked striped stiletto apron (a birthday gift from my sweet Adele), turned on the oven and gotten to work (or for me gotten to do what brings me pure pleasure) in my little kitchen.

I've made Nanci's Nirvana Bars (my own creation/adaptation of a Bread & Cie recipe), Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies (a Joshua request), Chocolate Chip Crumb Buns (another Joshua request), Chocolate Chip and Peanut Butter Chip Scones (yet another Joshua request...do you detect a chocolate theme going on here?!), my Grandma Rose and Aunt Irene's famous Pumpkin Bread (some with chocolate chips, some with cranberries and pecans), Whole Wheat Sables with Cacoa Nibs, Chocolate Sandwich Cookies with Vanilla Buttercream Filling and just today I began the process of making a sinful Chocolate Coffee Layer Cake with Mocha Buttercream Frosting with Chocolate Ganache dripping down the top and sides, decorated with chocolate covered espresso beans (a first time shot at this recipe...keep your fingers crossed...that will hopefully be the belle of the ball at the Christmas Eve dinner Joshua and I are going to at Jacklynn and Casey's...otherwise known as my ex-sister-in-law, technically speaking because I never got divorced from her, and my niece).

Yes, I know, I know, it sounds a bit insane but I assure you it's what has actually kept me sane during all the holiday madness and out of control weather. So, there you have it, my pets...when the rain comes, when the car breaks, when I'm feeling down I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad...

Go forth and BAKE, BAKE, BAKE...like all Sugar and Stilettos girls (and boys!) live our motto (Spreading sweet inspiration one treat at a time) to its fullest...from our house to yours Joshua and I wish you a Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all that yummy, delicious stuff!

Our 2010 Holiday Photo/Mary Ann Halpin Photography

xoxo Nanci

P.S. Several of the recipes mentioned above are already on the website RECIPE page...those that aren't will be soon so be on the lookout for them.

Lunching with my Mom

It has been an absolute whirlwind of beehive activity around here and thus the only reason I can offer up for having not written a blog for the last two weeks. I keep waiting for it all to slow down but to no avail and even with Hanukkah come and gone there still seems to be an endless list of things to do and parties to go to...oh, woe is me, she says tongue firmly in cheek.

Since I have had more than one holiday/mommy meltdown in the last week or so and since my old soul and quite wise 11 year old son told me to just "take a day off Mommy...you're the boss of Sugar & Stilettos so you can do that...nobody can tell you no." I decided to do just that.  Out of the mouths of babes...

I made plans to babysit my 6 month old niece, Stella, for a few hours yesterday...my mother over hearing these plans at our belated Hanukkah party on Saturday decided to join me...it was going to be a casual fun-filled girls' fest...walking, talking, eating, laughing, playing...

Well, my mother arrived at my house at 1130am as planned. By 12N there was still no Stella. A quick call to Pauline's cell phone revealed that she had forgotten completely. Hard to imagine how getting a few hours of freedom could slip a harried mother's mind but it did and so my mother and I were left with no baby to care for and nothing to do. So, we did what any self-respecting women would do in a similar situation...we went out to lunch and each ordered a big glass of wine to start.

My relationship with my mom has not always been easy. We have often been at odds with one another finding it impossible to understand or have compassion for the other one. Miraculously, in the last many years, we have found  common ground allowing us to settle into a very loving, accepting and joyful mother/daughter bond for which I am extremely grateful.

My mother and I in the beginning

My mother has had to overcome impossible obstacles in her life, not the least of which was my sister's death 21 years ago, her own two nervous breakdowns, numerous health issues of late and on and on. She has done so with a courage and spirit that is admirable as well as inspiring. She just simply refuses to give up or give in to life's tragedies, challenges or injustices no matter what they are.

I am a firm believer that every human being does the best they can at any given moment in time even when their best is downright shitty (excuse my French!)...my mother agrees with me. We have both always tried our best...our best often not being quite the stellar behavior we would have wished for. Yet, now as we looked across the table at each other our best is much closer to what we would like it to be. That's not to say that we don't continue to occasionally make mistakes emotionally and verbally, but that in general, we are able to rise to our better selves when we are together...treating each other with love, dignity, respect, kindness and compassion. We are able to share our feelings and truly listen better than ever before...and laugh...oh, how we laugh. These are gifts I appreciate beyond measure.

Being at peace with my mother (and father) and our relationship is the best present (other than the magical gift of my son) I have ever received. If I could offer up one little piece of counsel for you, my sweet readers, it would be to bury all your hatchets, work through all your baggage and get on with the thrill of being at one with yourself and those around you...especially your parents and siblings if you're still lucky enough to have them around. Even if they are not able to meet you even half way it doesn't matter. The inner work will free you up to be your best self and that is worth all the tea in China as they say. I promise that you will be happier and live a fuller, richer, in the present moment life.

Time is precious...people you love are more so...thank you Mom for being the woman you are...you have helped make me the woman I am...one I am pretty content to be!

Happy Holidays everyone!

xoxo Nanci

ATF Gingerbread

P.S. Try this incredible ATF Gingerbread recipe and share it with someone you love...

OH, How I LOVE Thanksgiving...let me count the ways!

I do, I really do LOVE Thanksgiving...absolutely ALL of it...from the turkey, gravy and stuffing to the sweet potatoes and green beans to the cranberry sauce and pumpkin bread, not to mention the pumpkin, pecan and apple pies and the wine...red for me...OH LA LA!!!

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday of the year because in addition to the fabulous aforementioned food there is none of that awful gift giving frenzy involved. It is just all about eating great food, drinking even better wines and enjoying a mostly relaxing day with the people you love the most. It's pure heaven for me, especially when my family behaves themselves.

The Famous Pumpkin Bread

When I'm not drowning in chocolate bliss, I am quite partial to all things pumpkin, maple and pecan so Thanksgiving is a personal bonanza for me. This holiday would not be complete without my Grandma Rose and Aunt Irene's famous pumpkin bread. I swear I have been eating this bread for as long as I can remember and there is not a single person in my family that is not crazy for it. The baton was passed to me two years ago making me the official baker of it for Thanksgiving and other occasions. I have gotten so good at baking it (while channeling my grandma and aunt!) that it is now famous beyond just my family. Friends and strangers alike beg for it...sometimes the demand for it makes me positively dizzy! Try it when you get a chance...you will not be disappointed!

The Magnificent Maple Walnut (Pecan) Layer Cake

As for something maple and pecany to offer up I am going to suggest the first cake I made in my most recent incarnation as a baker goddess. It is from the wonderful Magnolia Bakery in NYC. They call it Maple Walnut Cake with Fluffy Maple Frosting. Since I change the walnuts to pecans (my obvious preference) I technically could call it Maple Pecan Layer Cake but I won't in deference to the geniuses that created it in the first place. In any case, make it...I promise you a chance to experience nirvana.

Well, I would love to continue to regale you with and relive my Thanksgiving memories but I must get back to my baking...people are counting on me! I hope your holiday is as sweet as can be filled with love, laughter and lovely, heartfelt memories to last a lifetime.

xoxo Nanci

The Wondrous Miracle of Adoption

As you might already know I adopted my son, Joshua, from birth (he is now eleven) as a single woman. Yep, Prince Charming just didn't show up in time (simply shocking, I know!) so I went ahead without him because I had a deep, profound desire to be a mommy.

First Meeting - 12 hours old

In the beginning of this single mother thought process I explored every available option out there; insemination, surrogacy, Chinese baby girls, Russian orphans, domestic adoption - private and county...you name it, I looked into it. However, after at least two years of ruminating over all my choices I settled on private domestic adoption. I had decided that I didn't want to be pregnant alone (with serious mental illnesses in my family I was very concerned about passing on that horrible legacy to an innocent child). I also knew that I wanted a newborn which brought me to private domestic adoption where a newborn is pretty much the norm. (In international and county adoptions the babies tend to be older, between 9 months to two years old).

I embarked on a journey that would turn out to be fraught with missteps and one real tragedy that was completely unforeseen. There were definitely times that I thought I would just die from all the heartache. In the end, I picked myself up and headed for my goal...a baby to raise and a family to call my own.

I met Elizabeth (over the phone at first) six weeks before her due date. She lived in Oklahoma at the time but was soon moving to Charleston, South Carolina to live with and marry the baby's father who was stationed there in the Navy. He also happened to be the father of her three year old daughter, Bryanna. They both had agreed that they weren't able or equipped to raise another baby, especially considering Elizabeth's constant struggles with serious liver disease...a battle she had been fighting since she was born. I was truly amazed at her resolve, not to mention her courage. What she was going to do...hand over her newborn baby to a virtual stranger was beyond my comprehension...it left me awestruck.

Joshua in his hospital basinette and with Elizabeth

There are far too many details to reveal in this blog of how my journey played out, but suffice it to say it was quite an adventure! Not only was Joshua supposed to be a girl (that's what the ultrasound showed...NOT!), but he ended up being born in the middle of Hurricane Floyd and we were evacuated when he was 48 hours old (that's right, me, alone with a newborn on an airplane in crowded airports...you should have seen the look I shot people who even thought of getting near him!)

As I was saying good-bye to Elizabeth in the dimly lit hospital parking lot the night before leaving Charleston I could not contain my emotions....my whole body was shaking. "Elizabeth, how can I ever thank you enough? I promise to love him with all my heart." And do you know what this twenty-one year old had the wherewithal to say to me? "Oh, no, Nanci, it's me who should be thanking you. I couldn't have done this without you. I knew the minute I spoke to you that you were the one." We were both crying as we hugged. I stood alone and waved good-bye to her as she drove away. "Thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you my angel."

To this day, I am blown away by Elizabeth's bravery and selflessness. (Tragically, she lost her battle with liver disease almost four years ago at the age of 30.) I continue to be brought to my knees by the sheer miracle of the baby, now preteen boy, that she entrusted me with to raise. How out of all the birth mothers and babies in the world did I get the one I got? He's so perfect...so right...so natural...so extraordinary. That is the MIRACLE of adoption...and every adoptive parent I know would agree...that none of us can imagine raising any other child than the one that found us...

I was bold enough to have a dream of being a mother. Elizabeth was bold enough to dream of a better life for her baby. We were two women, two mothers, looking for the same thing which we found in each other. We are both, now and forever, mothers of this wondrous, miraculous boy named Joshua...a blessing beyond measure...oh, don't get me started...I'll fall into a puddle of tears on the floor...

Joshua and his two mommies

Even though my life did not turn out the way I thought it would when I was a little girl dreaming of my future, in many ways it is so much better than I could have ever imagined it to be. As my beloved Aunt Irene used to say, "No matter what  happens in your life, Nanci, make it work for you." I pass her wisdom on to you in hopes that you will dream big, huge, fabulous dreams following them wherever they may want to lead you.

And if you're interested in more details of my journey to Joshua you can read the play I eventually wrote about my experience, "...AND BABY MAKES TWO - an adoption tale". Simply go to www.andbabymakestwo-anadoptiontale.com to order a copy of the Samuel French published version (on THE STORE page) as well as see video clips, photos, quotes, reviews, interviews, magazine articles, resource adoption info, etc.

Have a heavenly day filled with abundance...

xoxo Nanci aka Joshua's lucky mom

P.S. Joshua and his sister, Bryanna (now 14), keep in touch via Skype...how cool is that?!

Sugar & Stilettos - an obsessive baking odyssey..the PLAY!

This isn't going to be a long blog today because I am in the throes of a creative whirlwind...and when the muse strikes an artist, an artist must heed the call!

The Sugar & Stilettos play is such a different animal than my first play, "AND BABY MAKES TWO - an adoption tale" which was a linear, pretty much straight forward telling of my adoption journey to my son, Joshua, as a single woman. The S & S play is not linear at all...it is a story that weaves my crazy family baking saga through many decades bouncing from one event to another in no particular order at this point.

I am clear where I want my story to begin and end, but literally have no idea how I'm going to get there. Every time I sit down to write, it is a mystery that unfolds before my very eyes. Believe me, I am as surprised as anyone as to what comes from my mind to my fingertips on the keyboard and then onto the written page. This kind of writing for me is about as terrifying and exhilarating as it gets.

Throughout the process I have gotten into the habit of just letting whatever is within me flow without reservation or editing of any kind. Then, I go back hours or even days later, re-read what I've most recently written and start changing things. At times I am astonished (and embarrassed) at how horrible some of the writing is and then sometimes I am astonished (and quite proud) at how terrific some of it is. I am always astonished at the miracle of the transformation of the writing into anything that makes sense.

In the end, I hope to have a play that will make people laugh, touch their hearts as well as delight and inspire their souls to soar freely...ahh, the magic of the creative arts. I know this process keeps me going in this often jaded, fame obsessed world. And the thought of sharing my "new baby" with all of you as soon as its ready absolutely thrills me!

Aren't they gorgeous?!

In the meantime, bake yourself a treat (that's what I do in between my energetic spurts of writing). The baking keeps my creative juices flowing and makes a lot of people happy since I give away most of what I bake. You might want to try this recipe...MAPLE CUPCAKES with MAPLE CREAM CHEESE FROSTING...it's a real winner and I highly recommend it!

So, go forth mes amis and fill your day with whatever creative/artistic endeavor makes your heart sing a happy song...

xoxo Nanci

A Weighty Issue - Women and Our Body Battles

I'm still ruminating about yesterday's OPRAH show. I don't watch much television in general and even less of the daytime stuff but actress Portia di Rossi was going to be Oprah's guest talking about her new book, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain that chronicles her struggles with anorexia, bulimia and her sexuality. It looked like an interesting show. It actually turned out to be not just interesting, but thought provoking and incredibly touching.

As most of the world has come to know, Portia di Rossi is a beautiful, accomplished actress who is also married to talk show host and comedian, Ellen de Generes. What people haven't known about her was that beginning at the age of 12 with her first diet to conform to modeling standards in her native Australia she began a slippery and often treacherous slide into food and body obsession hell. As she described the craziness in her head during those years of self torment and the rituals she performed to try to control her body I clearly saw my younger self.

Though I never slid into anorexia or bulimia I teetered on the brink of both. Thinking about food every waking moment of the day and sometimes all night long became a way of being. Every morsel of food that went into my mouth, what its calorie count was, how I could get rid of the extra calories or pounds (exercise, diuretics) and what I weighed was the main focus of my day...every day for years on end. I jumped on the scale constantly. I looked at my body in the mirror with an eagle eye a hundred times a day. I measured my thighs, waist and hips daily noting the slightest change in my agenda book. One to two pounds over what I thought was acceptable would send me into a tailspin, five pounds could render me suicidal.

So, as I listened to Portia describe her battles, I relived a few of my own. I felt grateful, that while I am still too focused on how my body looks (like most women) I am far beyond where I used to be. I must say that menopause has been humbling for me. My eating habits haven't really changed much in the last 10-15 years but my body is changing as it sees fit. It doesn't ask me if I approve or if I'm in agreement...it just does what the hell it feels like, leaving me to deal with the results whatever they may be...which I do for the most part.

The road was long and tormented. It took me forever to be even somewhat at peace with myself and the way my body looks. There were times when I thought I wasn't going to make it, but I can honestly say that I am no longer tethered to my scale and that I have found happiness in things of real meaning which have enriched my life more than any idealized version of my body could have ever provided.

When Portia said that she no longer puts any restrictions on her food intake whether it be the type of food she eats or the portions of those foods because she now eats what makes her happy...and that when she's happy her body just seems to take care of itself and be where it needs to be. That made so much sense to me. It clearly is why when I am in my beloved France I eat and drink everything I want, don't worry about any of it, never step on a scale and always come home not having gained an ounce! Why? Because I am simply being in the moment over there, deliriously happy just to soak up the beauty that surrounds me, grateful for the life that I have. As a reward for this joy of self-acceptance my body takes care of itself in the best possible way...it just enjoys being alive.

Coconut Cream Cake - Isn't she pretty?!

So, tonight when I have dinner with my good friends, Eleanor and Susan, (all of our cherished children are away this week on a school camping trip so we're living it up!) I am going to eat and drink to my heart's content. I'm going to have an especially BIG piece of the gorgeous Coconut Cream Cake with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting I made for the occasion and I am going to ENJOY it with total abandon!

Here's hoping that you can break free of whatever chains bind you... that you can live your life freely letting self acceptance and love lead the way...because REALLY aren't we all more than the sum of our outward body parts or a silly number on a scale? Something to think about mes belles...

xoxo Nanci

P.S. Thank you Portia for your simple, straightforward bravery and honesty in sharing your story.

Zombies, Vampires and Gangsters...Oh My! It's Halloween!

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling the Halloween/Autumn vibe. Surprisingly for LA, we are actually having cool and somewhat rainy weather lending itself to delicious dreams of pumpkin everything, warm apples, cinnamon and pecans all drenched in creamy caramel. The very thought of it just makes me swoon. In my oven right this very minute are four loaves of my Grandma Rose and Aunt  Irene's world famous pumpkin bread. My house smells like pumpkin, cloves, cinnamon and nutmeg...a little slice of heaven!

Mini pumpkin breads...I styled this photo all by myself!

Joshua is in full Halloween prep mode and has been for over a month..you can feel the excitement and anticipation in the air that surrounds him. He has parties galore lined up all weekend long and simply is chomping at the bit to go and get his hands on ALL THAT CANDY!

For the last few years he has been insistent on being something ghoulish...a zombie, a vampire, a headless monster type creature. I have found this somewhat hysterical since many of the displays in the Halloween stores still terrify...well, not exactly terrify, but really freak him out. Go figure. Anyway, this year after much debate and changing his mind he settled on the slightly less ghoulish character (depending on your perspective) of a Mafia-type Gangster.

We first went to Shelly's on Westwood Blvd. right near our house and found just about everything Joshua needed...black and white pin striped pants, jacket, white shirt with a red tie, a big fake stogie to chomp on. Then we headed over to Party City to load up on fake cigarettes, a fake machine-type gun and some bling. We had a blast. Such fun to see how specific his tastes and opinions are becoming. The fedora hat he had at home completed his outfit.

Of course, the minute we got to the house EVERYTHING had to be opened and tried on again...this time all together. Yes, folks, my little sandy blond haired, fair skinned, freckled face little angel was transformed into a hard hitting gangster packing serious fake ammo. I know these innocent days are numbered so I am really enjoying the ride right now. I simply couldn't stop smiling.

Mini Pumpkin breads with Maple Whipped Cream Frosting and Chocolate Sprinkles

Do yourself a favor and bake an autumn treat to savor with a friend or loved one over a cup of coffee or tea...you won't be sorry in the least. And if you decide to make my pumpkin bread (and I strongly recommend that you do!) you can guild the lily a bit by adding some maple whipped cream frosting and chocolate sprinkles on top like in the picture above.

Here's the recipe for the frosting...the link for the pumpkin bread is at the top of the blog...ENJOY!

MAPLE WHIPPED CREAM FROSTING (Bon Appetit Magazine/October 2010):

Ingredients:

1 1/3 cups chilled creme fraiche
1 1/3 cups chilled heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup maple sugar (found at specialty stores)
6 tablespoons powdered sugar

Combine creme fraiche, cream, and both sugars in a large bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat until very thick and stiff. Spread generously over the tops of the mini pumpkin breads, then drizzle with the chocolate sprinkles.

HAPPY, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

xo Nanci

My other best friend, Peter, aka Joshua's godfather

Joshua and Peter a few years ago doing their Halloween thing

Well, it's really hard to describe my friendship with Peter. We've known each other for almost 30 years and have had a very close friendship for over 25 of those years. He's been and continues to be a patient and constant confidant, a  much cherished member of my inner circle of intimates, an unconditionally loving "brother" in the best sense of the word, a supporter of my dreams, a believer in my talents, a committed, fabulous godfather to my son, Joshua...and that's just a small part of who he is to me.

We met in a Los Angeles acting class in the early 1980s. Peter had grown up in Pennsylvania, graduated from Yale and then headed to California to pursue his actor ambitions. I had grown up here in Los Angeles, graduated from UC Berkeley a few years later and then headed home to pursue my dreams of stage and screen.

In the beginning we were very skeptical of one another. One could even goes as far as to say that we weren't too fond of the other. I thought he was a bit snobby and he thought I was a bit bitchy. We were both right. We worked together from time to time doing scene work, we hung out with groups of people from class who partied together but otherwise kinda just tolerated each other...nothing mean and nasty, but definitely not warm and fuzzy.

The turning point came after there had been a prolonged break in our class when our acting coach, Joan Darling had stopped teaching. When she begun again, Peter and I were both back as well. Since we hadn't seen each other in the interim, we had no idea what we'd each been up to.

It was exciting to be back in class with Joan again...her energy, as always, was electric. On the day I did my first scene I was filled with anticipation. I'd been working really hard on myself as a person and an actress so I was anxious to get up and work, flex my creative muscles, get feedback from Joan so I could continue to grow. I was certainly no Meryl Streep, but I still wanted to be the best actress that I could be. I was surprisingly convinced that I had an artistic voice worth sharing along with some natural talent (though it was mostly hidden at that point) which I wanted to be able to put it out into the world.

I did my scene to much applause and kudos which made me feel great. At the class break while I was sitting on a banquette in the theatre lobby Peter approached me. "Your work was amazing today. What's happened to you since I last saw you?" "I've been in therapy,"I replied candidly and without reservation. "Really? You think that's made the incredible difference in your work?" "Oh, yeah, I'm positive. It's changing everything." We continued to talk and connect throughout the break. "Would you like to go out for coffee sometime? I'd like to talk to you more about this." And thus, our real friendship began in earnest.

Peter and Me circa 1995

From that moment forward neither one of us ever looked back. "Petit a petit" as my French friends say, we have built a friendship to last a lifetime. We have been there for each other through every conceivable life experience. We have shared exhilarating highs and devastating lows. We have become entwined in each others' lives...both family and friends. We have never really fought and when we have feelings that are uncomfortable or require probing we always discuss them and figure it out. There is a quiet, respectful understanding and sanity to our relationship that is at once, calming and reassuring.

I'm going to share a little story to give you some real insight into what kind of a man and human being Peter is. In the fall of 1993 (after five and a half years in NYC and one year living in Paris) I was starring in and producing the Los Angeles premiere production of Lee Blessing's play, DOWN THE ROAD, at the Tiffany Theatre on Sunset Blvd. (big, wonderful marquee and all!) It was a HUGE deal for me. Lee Blessing was (and still is!) a Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award nominated playwright who'd given me the rights to the play in LA for basically nothing just because I was so passionate about it. DOWN THE ROAD is a searing three person drama that challenged me to the max at every turn, plus it was my first big time producing gig, where I raised all the money and set the tone for everything that was to follow for the production.

It just so happened that my opening night was in the middle of Peter's vacation with his family in Maine. That did not stop him from attending. Not only did he send me a gorgeous bottle of champagne attached to a beautiful bunch of balloons that exclaimed "YOU ARE SO SPECIAL" but he flew in for opening night staying for the after party until the wee hours of the night. First thing the next morning he flew back to Maine to finish his vacation. Can you believe that?! I mean, who wouldn't love a guy like that?! Who wouldn't feel like they had won the best friend lottery? (By the way, my other best friend, Penny, was also in the audience having flown in from Chicago - really, could I be more blessed?).

Me, My Parents and Peter in Sun Valley, Idaho

Anyway, there you have it...30 years later we are still going strong and Joshua is the lucky beneficiary...his Uncle Peter loves him with a devotion that is enviable...and now at fifty-six Peter has found his true love and just gotten married for the first time (a lovely gal who prefers to remain anonymous), so our tight knit "family" is expanding. Me, a single mom for eleven years now, Peter married...wonders never cease, do they?!

Peter and Joshua after his Rose Gathering at school

Wishing you all best friends like Peter and Penny...

xoxo Nanci

P.S. Peter is a big SUGAR & STILETTOS fan...sans doute!

Baking, Baking and More Baking!

Well, as you MUST know by now I just LOVE to bake! It's been an absolute obsession for the last two years. I don't necessarily bake every day because I don't always have the time or the inclination. But, I do bake often and often I bake several things in one day...oh, the flour and sugar fly on those days!

Mixed Berry Cobbler

Recently, I've been on a roll...having gotten my baking mojo back after a slow, lazy summer...and I couldn't be happier about it. There really is something magical about turning simple ingredients like eggs, flour, butter, cream and sugar into the most sinful of delights. And I particularly like the rush of trying a new recipe, especially when my efforts yield the same result as the picture in the book...oh, how that just makes my day!

Fat Witch Brownies

I totally block out the world when I bake. I become one with my ingredients, practically self-medicated by the sheer sweetness of it all. The very act of getting my hands immersed in flour and butter soothes my soul and makes me feel once again like a child playing. My imagination soars, my heart opens up and I am happy just to be...

Coconut Cream Cake with Coconut Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

My Grandma Rose and my Aunt Irene (women way ahead of their time...may they both rest in peace) have got to be kvelling wherever they are because they are the ones that originally taught me how to bake. And even though it took me forever to realize my "calling" as a Baker Goddess/Diva/Mom their passion for nurturing through their baking and cooking continues to inspire me.

In addition to my baking madness, the SUGAR & STILETTOS world is growing steadily. I am half-way to the first new draft of the play, "SUGAR & STILETTOS - an obsessive baking odyssey", the Baking Club has begun its second year and the first ever BAKE SALE EXTRAVAGANZA for charity is set for May 21, 2011....mark your calendars!

Hope you're having as lovely a week as I am having...be sure to bake something...it will change your perspective on everything!

xo Nanci

P.S. The recipes for the above pictures are not on the website yet but as soon as they are I will update this post with their links so you can try them in your own kitchen. There are many other pictures I could share with you of treats I've made in recent weeks but I don't want to taunt and torture you...it's just not nice...

GO BEARS! UC Berkeley, Tracy, ADPi, DG and so much more...

I graduated from UC Berkeley. From the time I entered Cal as a freshman to the moment I graduated four years later I could not have been happier. If ever I could have a do over exactly the way it was the first time around, I would choose my years in Berkeley. To this day they were the most carefree, thrilling and joyous consecutive years of my life.

I had spent my entire late childhood and adolescence holed up either in my bedroom studying to get straight A's or at one of the two ice rinks where I trained under Frank Carroll as a competitive figure skater. I was a good student who liked studying. I was passionate about my figure skating and wanted to do nothing else other than be at the rink training. Both these worlds protected me somewhat from the slings and arrows of childhood battlefields. I lived rather happily inside my bubble, outside not so much.

Image my surprise and shock when I got to Cal...no bubble to fall back on, all my insecurities clearly on display, social uncertainties looming...yet, yet, I started to bloom like a hot house rose almost immediately. All the things I never did during my previous years (parties, football games, socializing easily with school friends) were now completely available and accessible to me. I was in heaven.

I joined a sorority going through rush before classes even begun my freshman year. Instant beautiful house to call home...70 new instant friends to call my own. Parties, fraternity exchanges, football games, basketball games, track meets, house meals and meetings and oh yeah, classes and studying...which for the first time in my life I found hard to do...not so much because the work load was more difficult than anything I'd encountered up until that point but, because I was having so much FUN it was just hard to find the time!

While going through sorority rush I met a girl from Fresno named Pat Harwell later nicknamed Pit or Pittle. We became immediate friends. Our August birthdays were one day apart, powder blue was our favorite color, we hated beer, we had sparkling blue eyes, loved to laugh and dance and had more energy than ten other people combined. We were absolutely inseparable so it was really disappointing when we ended up pledging different houses. Me, the Alpha Delta Pi (ADPi) house, Pat, the Delta Gamma (DG) house. Luckily for us, our houses were down the street from each other. We saw one another all time and spent time at both houses. Over my four years at Cal I spent so much time at the DG house that they made me an honorary member!

My sophomore year during fall rush (my first rush as an active member) a girl named Tracy Lagos went through rush as a transfer student from Los Angeles. All through the week our bond grew. Tracy split ADPi and DG on the last day of rush. I was praying that she would choose us but I also was aware of the lure of those fabulous DGs who also really turned on the waterworks on preference day. In the end, Tracy did choose the DGs...but again like with Pat the bond was already secured and nothing could change that. Luckily, Tracy and Pat became good friends as well so we were often the three muskateers making Fenton's runs (incredible ice cream parlor in Oakland), all dating football players, and dancing the night away as little sisters at various fraternity houses.

As you might well imagine I now spent even more time at the DG house! Tracy and I spent the next few years traveling I-5 down the middle of California every vacation going from Northern California to Southern and back again...her little powder blue VW packed to the gills with our stuff...well, OK, mostly my stuff and some of Tracy's. We talked, we laughed, we sang at the top of our lungs, we took pit stops (once jumping into a motel swimming pool fully clothed because it was so friggin' hot and there was no air conditioning in the VW. Often on that 5 hour trip cars full of boys would pass us and stare. Tracy always rolled down her window and boldly shouted, "Take a picture. It will last longer!". I so loved her chutzpah.

I became a part of her wonderful Greek family...she became a part of my crazy Jewish family. We lived at each other's houses on breaks. We ended up both working at Universal Studios in the tour division during our summer break. Tracy was a tour guide, I worked in crowd control and then food service where I secretly gave free food to her and my other tour guide friends.

Now, here it is 35 years later and we are still great friends. It doesn't matter that we don't get to talk or see each other all time (she lives up north, I live in LA). I swear that the minute we do get together time is erased and we are immediately 19 years old again...except wiser.

Recently, I was trying to figure out what I was going to do this year for our holiday card which is a HUGE tradition in our house. I had somewhat foolishly let my eleven year old son, Joshua, choose what he wanted to be (a Hip Hop Rapper with a lot of Bling) and now I had to find something to go with his choice. I couldn't think of anything so I started to think outside the box...maybe something the exact opposite would be funny. One night while drifting off to sleep cheerleading popped into my head, then Cal cheerleading, then Tracy who had been a Cal cheerleader. I mean, how opposite is a "rah rah" cheerleader to a Hip Hop Bling Rapper? Pretty opposite!

So, right away I emailed Tracy and asked if she still had her Cal uniform. Answer back..."Yes, why?" I explained the whole convoluted scenario (she knows our holiday cards well,of course) and she agreed without reservation to let me borrow the outfit for the photo shoot in November. Also, being the wonderful, kind friend that she is, she assured me that I would be able to fit into it...she's 5'10" and thin, I'm 5'6" tall and relatively thin.

Tracy in all her Cal cheerleading glory!

As it turned out Tracy was going to be coming to LA within days. Her son, Drew (who is on a full football scholarship at USC), was going to be having hip surgery. Terrific Mama Bear that she is, she was on her way to take care of him. She would bring the cheerleading outfit then. The both of us just giggled with delight at the crazy thought of me in that outfit.

Reader's Digest...we spent Sunday evening together at her sister, Alexis' house in Palos Verdes, where Drew is recuperating. Tracy, Alexis and I laughed so hard for three hours our stomachs hurt. When I got home I tried that outfit on toute suite and IT FIT! I emailed Tracy with the good news and we howled over the internet. Tracy just can't wait to see how this year's picture turns out...me, too!

Thanks Tray...I love you...it is a privilege and so much damn fun to be your friend...

xoxo Nanci

P.S. When I went to visit Tracy and to collect the coveted uniform, I brought Drew some of my Grandma Rose and Aunt Irene's pumpkin bread with chocolate chips to help him heal. Tracy emailed me Monday morning to say that Drew had inhaled it...just LOVED it. That made me so happy, not to mention my Grandma and Aunt wherever their souls may be floating!

The Private/Public School Dilemma

I was raised in the...well, let's just say a while ago. The California public school system was one of the best in the country...I think it was ranked #1 or #2 thanks in no small part to Gov. Pat Brown's (Jerry's father) commitment to education. I went to elementary, junior and high school at LAUSD (Los Angeles Unified School District) schools. There were after school programs for free, special music, drama and art programs, books and general supplies were provided, some field trips took place and major teacher involvement. Parent-Teacher conferences were held in the evening after a full days' work. Everyone got two weeks vacation at Christmas time, one week in the Spring, four days at Thanksgiving and a few other days for National holidays like Memorial Day...but that was about it. There were no half days, pupil free days, writing for teacher days, splash fun days, camping trips (other than if you were in the Girl or Boy Scouts) or anything else like that. You went to school with your friends in the neighborhood, did your work, got a report card at the middle and end of every semester and you had the summer off for camp, family vacations or whatever. Sure, there was an active PTA and the occasional bake sale/fundraiser but it was not a prominent part of the school experience. It was all pretty straight forward. Private schools in those days were for the very elite or mostly for those who got kicked out of the public schools and HAD to go to a private school to get an education.

I also went to UC Berkeley getting a fabulous university education that cost A LOT less money then the one nearby at Stanford in Palo Alto. Us Cal Bears used to have a good laugh about that from time to time...no offense intended to Stanford students or alumni! As I understand it, Berkeley is still ranked the #1 public university in this country.

But, something changed along the way. Ronald Reagan became governor of California and initiated cut backs that began to dismantle the California public school system in the most egregious ways. I remember my mother complaining loudly about it because all four of her children were attending local public schools. Bit by bit the schools fell apart. Bit by bit scores and literacy fell. Bit by bit the system became an almost unfixable shambles...which is how I encountered it as my son, Joshua, got ready to attend kindergarten.

It made me sad to know that the wonderful schools that I had attended were no longer wonderful. And even though I didn't live in the district for those schools, the one I did live in presented the same problems. To be honest, actually, the elementary school in my district is a good charter school but the middle and high schools (once great schools) are disasters. So, I was faced with a dilemma. Do I send Joshua to the neighborhood charter school and then go the private school route at 6th grade or do I bite the bullet now, opting for a private school that goes through 12th grade and be done with it. After many serious inner monologues with myself I decided to check out the private schools within a reasonable distance from my home and see what they had to offer. I also told myself that if Joshua didn't get in to a private school that I felt was really worth the money it would invariably cost, that he would go to our charter school and we would just deal with the 6th grade transition when we had to.

The Reader's digest of this saga is that my son and I (because they truly do look at each child and their family) did get into our first choice...a terrific, liberal, progressive school that I thought would not only give Joshua a great education but also a great foundation for being a productive and compassionate member of society. I bit the bullet big time and dove in to this very new and strange world...at least for me.

Joshua is now in the 5th grade...his last year of elementary school before he moves up and over to the middle/upper school campus a few blocks away. My son knows nothing else...this is the only education he has been offered and is experiencing...for the most part, it has been a perfect match for him and our less than conventional family. Me, separately on the other hand, do have something else to compare it to. I find that it often baffles me...this whole private school world. It just seems sometimes to be so surreal...because even though the student/parent population is quite diverse economically, ethnically, religiously, socially (all unusually rare for most private schools) there are still plenty of people that feel very entitled and who seem to have forgotten that not everyone breathes their particular brand of rarefied air. It also costs a small fortune and often seems to me that the more you pay the less these children actually go to school!

To be clear, there are many advantages at my son's school and others like it that don't exist in even the best public schools. The attention to each child's emotional life, issues and ways of learning are truly extraordinary. The ratio of teachers and faculty to students, also extraordinary. The sense of community and fun, not to mention the throngs of specialists that round out the academic/arts/sports/technology programs, again extraordinary. Yet, in addition to paying the ridiculously high tuition, the school demands that you practically give your blood. There are constant demands for your money for one thing or another, for your volunteer time, for your involvement in all the minutiae that daily goes on...it can feel very overwhelming, exhausting and intrusive at times.

And then, of course, I wonder, if in the end, does it really matter? Will Joshua's life in general be that dramatically altered by being at this particular school as opposed to the public schools he would have otherwise attended? The honest answer is, I don't know for sure and probably never will because this is the direction we chose and this is the path we're on. But, I do wonder...I do still wonder...

xoxo Nanci

P.S. Considering that I am now known as "The Baker Mom" (baking being one of the ways I've found I enjoy volunteering) here's a great recipe to make for your school's next party or fundraiser...S'MORE NUT BARS. I guarantee you that it's a sure winner!

Red Velvet Cake, Red Candies, Red Everything!

Oh, RED is just my very favorite color and has been for as long as I can remember. I had a red velvet dress that I loved, loved, loved when I was a little girl and wore ALL the time so doesn't it make perfect sense that one of my very favorite cakes is RED VELVET CAKE?! Well, of course, it does. And that doesn't even begin to take into account all the RED CANDIES that I love...Licorice, Dots, Juicyfruits, Jujubees, Swedish Fish, Cinnamon Bears, Red Hots, Hot Tamales, Jelly Beans, Salt Water Taffy (just to name a few) or the red popsicles, red fruit punch and the famous (or infamous) red dixie cups of my preschool days. Also, is there anything more stunning then a sunset drenched in red hues, burnt red leaves on an autumn tree, a scarlet red evening gown, ruby red stilettos or blood red nail polish and lipstick? I don't think so. Trust me this list really could go on and on and on.

4th of July Red Velvet Cake

So, what's a girl to do with her RED obsession? Well, I say feed it for goodness sake! So, that's what I've done my whole life. As far as those candies go...I used to save the red ones (the best ones) for last until I realized that that was exactly when everyone wanted me to share and have a taste of my fabulous goodies. Well, I fixed that right away. I began (and have never looked backed) eating the red candies FIRST (why save the best for last, life is short!) and now I have no moral dilemmas whatsoever when I have to pony up and share. I am perfectly happy to give away the other colors, no offense intended to the rest of the rainbow.

Valentine's Day Red Velvet Cake

RED, for me, represents fiery passion and beauty not to mention delectable, delightful and often gorgeous sweet treats...but no matter what your favorite color may be, ENJOY it to the fullest...wear it, decorate with it, bake it, drink it, eat it, meditate over it...do whatever you want with it!

xo Nanci

Sunday afternoon at Aunt Irene & Uncle George's circa a long time ago!

P.S. OK, admittedly, not the most flattering look for me, but as you can see I am wearing my adored RED VELVET DRESS underneath the lovely and classy improvised bib. I wasn't kidding, this "RED THING" started young. Have a good laugh...I certainly did!

My soul sister and best friend, Penny

It's hard to explain how Penny and I became best friends because we didn't grow up together, we didn't go to school together and since meeting in our early twenties we have rarely lived in the same city. Yet, from the moment we met in Doug Rivera's Jazz dance class in Sherman Oaks, California, there was something special going on, even if we didn't quite realize it at the time.

It all started with Doug calling me Penny and her Nanci. That confusion has continued throughout our entire friendship extending to just about everyone that meets/knows us...including Penny's own mother, Ruth, who recently looked at a picture of me and my son, Joshua, on my refrigerator and said, "Pen is looking more and more like you." and her youngest son, Ethan, who once declared after looking at a picture of us, "Two mommies!"

Pen and Me back in the day!

People are genuinely shocked to find out that not only are we not biological sisters, we're not even cousins of any sort...well, at least not technically. Pen and I like to see each other and our friendship on an even higher plane. We always say that I am the sister she never had (she has one brother) and she is the sister I got cheated out of (my sister died almost 21 years ago). Perhaps we have found each other again after a thousand other lifetimes separated us...our souls reconnecting effortlessly...just so happy to be back together. Whatever the explanation, we don't really care...we are just so grateful for 30 years and counting of a magical friendship that has dramatically changed each of our lives.

Penny came in from Chicago unexpectedly Sunday night to visit her mom for a few days dragging along her brother and cousin from the east coast. We spent Monday afternoon eating the most luscious piece of coconut cake at my friend, Jane Lockhart's bakery, Sweet Lady Jane, on Melrose Avenue. Two happier women you could not have seen than us eating that cake. The frosting alone made us swoon. We devoured every morsel all the while laughing our heads off as we regaled each other with the most recent stories of our lives.

Then, we headed to XIV Karats Jewelers in Beverly Hills (the owner, Cheryl Alpert is a longtime family friend) because Pen wanted to get some gold chains. After looking at like a hundred different ones she picked out four truly spectacular chains...3 gold gold, 1 white gold...a well deserved treat to herself. Cheryl gave her the special "Nanci" price and off we went leaving Cheryl eating the Jacques Torres chocolate chip cookies that I had brought for her. She was supposed to share them with her daughter, Caryn, but Penny and I had our doubts that Caryn would ever see even one of them!

Back at my house we had a little time left before Penny had to pick up her brother, cousin and mom for dinner. We absolutely NEVER have enough time together but we sure as hell appreciate every single minute that we do have. We have accumulated countless memories over the years...from me surprising her for her 40th birthday (her husband, Bob, and I kept the secret for a month - oh, you should have seen the look on her face when she opened the door!) to her flying out for all my opening nights (you should have seen the look on my face!) and to everything in between. We have remained steadfast in our devotion to one another, grateful for the blessing of our two woman sisterhood and to the enormous joy we share of being together whether we are laughing or crying.

Lucky, maybe? Fate, maybe? Karma, maybe that, too? WHATEVER it is that brought us to each other all those many years ago I say, Thank Goodness and Thank God for my Pen!

Sexy Stiletto Cake Server

P.S. Look what Penny got me for my birthday this year along with a huge tub of my favorite Costco granola...couldn't be more perfect, don't you agree? Now that's a BEST FRIEND!

The life and times of my sister, Gloria

I don't know why, but my sister, Gloria, loved the candy Swedish Fish. Personally, I was more of a Juicyfruit, Dots and Jujubes kind of gal, but Gloria won me over and I, too, became a fan of her Swedish Fish. She liked all the colors but especially the red ones, my favorite as well. I could always bring a smile to her face if I brought her or sent her (as I often did when I lived in NYC) a big bag of those candies. It just made her day.

My sister died almost twenty-one years ago. Still, all these years later, whenever I see Swedish Fish in a candy store or buy some to eat myself I simply cannot help but think of her and laugh. I like to believe that it makes her happy, wherever she is, to see me continuing on her tradition of Swedish Fish enjoyment.

The older I get, the more I want to honor my sister's life and struggles. I want to be her voice. I want to stand along side her...remind her that she is not forgotten, that her life mattered, that she is still very much loved. In that spirit, I have gotten involved with NARSAD (National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression), a world leading charity dedicated to mental health research.

The following is a tribute I wrote for *NARSAD's Gloria Neidorf Memorial Lecture on Bipolar Disorder that took place at UCLA on May 1, 2010.

Gloria's High School Graduation Picture

My sister, Gloria Ellen Neidorf, was born January 3, 1958, a big, beautiful baby with soft light brown hair and hazel brown eyes, the second of what would eventually be four children in our family. She was smart, charming and funny; a very happy go lucky child with a mischievous laugh that made everyone laugh uncontrollably along with her. She displayed an early talent as an artist and became an avid equestrian competing in the English style throughout her adolescence. There was nothing in her early childhood that signaled the torment that would become her life.

The doctors believed that the onset of her bipolar disease (a chemical brain imbalance that is a heredity illness much like diabetes) began in adolescence, probably around the age of twelve to thirteen. At that time, Gloria started to display disturbing rebellious behaviors - lying, drugs, excessive partying, numerous car accidents and early sexual activity. There were school and friend changes, unsuccessful attempts at therapy, much screaming and crying...all to no avail. At no time did anyone think, "Oh, this child might be mentally ill." It was 1970. Gloria's behavior was in keeping with what many of her friends and other kids of her generation were doing plus she had a big mouthed, but goody two shoes of an older sister, to contend with. It just looked like she was a normal teenager trying to figure herself out and forge her own path.

Despite her drug use, her school truancies and her increasingly erratic behavior, Gloria managed to graduate high school with good enough grades to get into UC Santa Cruz where she spent two years (always at the top of her class). She then transferred to UC Berkeley getting into the prestigious Haas Business School graduating with honors on time two years later. This was an absolute miracle and testament to my sister's fortitude as her disease was now raging out of control. She continued to carry on after college; getting a job and her own apartment but it all came to a crashing halt when a failed suicide attempt at age twenty-three finally brought to light a correct diagnosis.

Unfortunately for Gloria, her pain was about to get even worse. It was determined that she was a "rapid cycler", an even more devastating subset of the disease. No amount of talk therapy was helpful and no matter what medications the doctors prescribed (and there were so many one could no longer count them), nothing was able to stabilize her. Her life descended into a nightmare of epic proportion with events too horrible to describe here. She became unrecognizable to herself and to those that loved her most. And as frustrating and maddening as it could be to deal with her then, it is now obvious to me how courageous and tenacious she was as she fought to regain her life as she had previously known it.

Gloria lost her battle with bipolar disease on October 23, 1989, committing suicide when she was thirty-one years old. I have often marveled at how she lasted as long as she did considering the daily torment she had to endure. My sister has become one of my heros for her bravery in the light of the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the impossible. It is my hope and that of my family that Gloria's valiant struggle with mental illness will inspire and educate others...that the bright light she was born with will live on.

*The afternoon at UCLA also included other lectures in an effort to illuminate the many mysteries of mental illness. 100% of all donations to NARSAD go directly to research, an amazing accomplishment for a non-profit.

Which color is your favorite?

On a lighter note, the next time you see Swedish Fish candy, think of my sister, Gloria. I know it will bring a smile to her face...

My Sun Valley Girl Posse - Linda, Judy, Etienne & Chantal

Sorry I missed doing a blog last week but it was my birthday (no numbers, please!) and I was (still am) in Sun Valley, Idaho taking a little vacation with Joshua before school starts on September 8th. My parents have a beautiful place here which allows us to have a ready made home away from home...it doesn't get much better than that!

So, here's the scoop. Linda Fratianne, Judy Blumberg and I have known each other since we were little girls. We met at the Tarzana Ice Rink in Tarzana, California where we all shared a passion for figure skating. As time went on and our competitive careers got more challenging we changed rinks and coaches. Linda and I went to Frank Carroll, Judy to Betty Behrens...all of us began training at Van Nuys Iceland and Pickwick Ice Arena, home of the Los Angeles Figure Skating Club, which we all represented for the rest of our skating days. We lived for figure skating...simply could not get enough of it. How could we have possibly known back then that it would lead to lifelong connections?

Linda today

Sun Valley Showgirl Linda

Linda and I were particularly close growing up. Her natural talent combined with her incredible work ethic made her a stand out skating prodigy from the start. I admired and adored her; her shy, humble demeanor was particularly beautiful to behold in someone so young and gifted. I still have the postcards she sent me from an international competition in Vienna and the 1976 Olympics in Innsbruck (her second Olympics in 1980 at Lake Placid earned her the silver medal...1/100th of a point away from the gold). She still has a little photo album with childhood pictures of her family in it...and me, the only non-family member to make the cut...how magical is that?!

Judy, daughter, Etienne & Maddie

Judy & her dance partner, Michael, competing

As for Judy and I, we went to junior high and high school together so we saw each other constantly along with a couple of other skater girls that went to school with us. None of us could wait to get on the ice at the end of our day. We went straight from school to the rink where we felt safe, had real friends and very lofty goals for ourselves. Judy started out as a singles skater but down the line switched to ice dancing which became her forte...a very smart, savvy move. She went on to four national titles with her partner.

As Linda and Judy went on to skating fame and glory at both the national and international level I quit skating at eighteen to go to UC Berkeley, then live in NYC to begin my career as an actress (one of the few spots I did in NY was ice skating for a Meadowlands commercial - actually ran into Judy at Sky Rink when I did my callback audition - what were the chances of that?!). We all kept in touch sporadically as the years rolled by.

Eventually, both Linda and Judy built lives as coaches in Sun Valley...a mecca for figure skaters especially in the summer months when kids from all over the country and world come to train. I remember as a teenager begging my mother to let me come but she refused to allow it, so it was ironic when years later she fell in love with the area and insisted that my dad buy them a place here. And that is how Linda, Judy and I found each other again.

We've since shared life's triumphs and disasters; from marriages to divorces, from boyfriends to single motherhood (Judy and I adopted our children...me, domestically, her from China), from good health to bad and back again, from parents living to dying, from success to failure or disappointment, from financial security to instability, from laughing to crying and so much more.

On this particular trip, we shared a wonderful birthday dinner (mine) with my parents, some friends of theirs, my son, Joshua, and Judy's little girl, Etienne (Linda's daughter, Ali, was busy preparing to go away to college later in the week). As you might imagine, there was a lot of raucous laughing, teasing and all around merriment..no one wanted it to end. As we stood outside the restaurant (a French bistro, bien sur) Linda began crying...she couldn't bear to say good-bye to my parents, who openly adore her but were unwittingly reminding her of how desperately she missed her own parents, both of whom had died many years earlier. Judy and I embraced her as she sobbed, forming a kind of cocoon around her. It was a group hug that brought all three of us to tears of gratitude...for our history together, the privileged lives we've lead and the friendships we continue to honor...a glorious, unforgettable moment in time.

Sun Valley Summer Ice Show

As if that moment wasn't enough there have been many others throughout my 10 days in Sun Valley. My parents went back to LA and Joshua went to day camp at the YMCA here so I  had even more time to be with my girl posse...sometimes just Linda, sometimes Judy and Etienne (one of the most enchanting children on the planet), sometimes my friend, Chantal (not a skating connection but originally an LA one as well)...sometimes a combination of the above...eating, drinking, talking, laughing, crying,  supporting each other...always a joy.

Just yesterday, after having brunch together with Joshua, Chantal made me laugh so hard I almost fell on the floor as she tried to figure out how to shut off the wind shield wipers in the borrowed car she was driving. This morning was a walk/talk with Judy and Etienne plus many hugs and kisses. Tonight Joshua and I will take Linda out for her belated birthday celebration. Though I am strictly a city girl who only  visits the countryside from time to time, I love Sun Valley and my girl posse - passionate, smart, funny, engaging, inspirational, talented women who I share such a rich history with and who are helping guide me through this crazy thing called life...Merci mes belles filles...merci beaucoup!

Plain Old-Fashioned Silly Fun

Well, my friends, yesterday got away from me. I was planning on writing this week's blog but got sidelined time and time again with plain old-fashioned silly fun. Yep, the kind that makes you belly laugh out loud with all your heart and soul. The kind that reminds you of how the most wonderful moments in life are the ones that surprise you with their spontaneity. The kind that you will remember for years to come.

I'm not saying that writing this blog isn't fun but it takes time and uninterrupted focus none of which I ended up having yesterday though try as I might to get some work done. Here's how the crazy day unfolded...

I began by spending the morning at the eye doctor. Just an annual exam to let me know how much my eyes are continuing to deteriorate (so lovely to be able to pay for that!). After gettting the also lovely news that if I wanted progressive lenses it would cost me almost $500.00...and that would be with me using frames that I already have (!) I left feeling slightly overwhelmed and dare I say slightly angry...end result...no progressive lenses for the moment. I headed home.

As I'm pulling up to my house, what do you imagine I see? My niece, Casey(who was babysitting), and my son, Joshua, on the grass in front of the house sitting behind an elaborately decorated table with a sign that said, ROCK N ROLL LEMONADE & COOKIES $2. They were laughing and literally screaming at passersby to buy their lemonade and cookies, me included, which I promptly did. I could not stop smiling as I examined their set-up. The best part was how really thrilled they were with themselves and the whole operation. By the time I had arrived they already had several dollars in their money jar and were counting on much more to come their way.

I went into the house to try to get some phone calls and emails returned only to be persuaded to come back out to help sell their wares and participate in some photo ops. As you can see from the photo above silly fun was the operative word here. After a while I went into the house to change into my workout clothes. I then left Casey and Joshua to their work and went on my walk. By the time I came home several neighborhood kids had joined in the fun and many more dollars were in their jar. Lots more laughing and screaming.

Again, I tried to go inside the house to get some work done but to no avail. At 2pm Joshua's friend, Sean, showed up for a playdate, and a new round of insanity ensued. They set up Joshua's tent in the backyard, got out all his nerf guns and bullets, put on appropriate battle gear and began protecting the Westside of Los Angeles from all the suspected and dangerous terrorists lurking in the bushes. Casey and I both got pulled into the game, cajoling, taunting and teasing them...this went on forever!

Finally, at 5pm the four of us went to Poquito Mas around the corner for an early dinner. I can't remember what exactly we said but we did not stop laughing the entire time...gafaw, crazy laughter that made people look at us with vaguely judgmental stares. I have to say that even though we tried to tone it down from time to time we really were just  having too good of a time to care. Of course, we had to follow up dinner with a frozen yogurt at Big Chill...more laughing, more staring from others.

When we got back home I tried once again to get some work done. I knew the blog was out of the question but I tried to rein Casey in to edit some of my writing for the new version of the SUGAR & STILETTOS play. This lasted about a nanosecond because Joshua and Sean were now back in full battle mode, round 2. Casey decided that I needed to be a princess held hostage by her so I donned my tiara, she wrote a ransom note, and I screamed HELP! while she made menacing threats on my life. There was running around from the front yard to the backyard and back again. Another note was written in pink ink; this time by me begging for HELP! I was really getting caught up in the emotions of my kidnapping. In between Casey's taunts to the young, brave soldiers we were dropping to our knees just cracking up at the silliness of it all.

By the time my friend, Eleanor, came at 9pm to pick up her son, Sean, everyone was totally sweaty and faces were red with exhaustion. The only one who seemed to have missed all the action was our cat, Tucker, who preferred to pose for pictures in a luxuriously seductive and shy way as opposed to getting involved with all the riff raff.

After saying good-bye to everyone I got Joshua into the bath, then bed where he willingly collapsed. By 1030pm I was in bed too. As I began the descent into blissful sleep I thought what an amazing day it turned out to be...not at all the one that I had envisioned but one that I will never forget.

There really is something to be said for plain old-fashioned silly fun...I highly recommend it...you should definitely try it sometime soon!

xo Nanci

P.S. Casey and Joshua ended up with $38.00 from their sales...$22.00 covered costs and $16.00 was pure profit...pretty impressive indeed.
P.S.S. All photography for this post courtesy of the extremely talented Casey Neidorf!