OH, How I LOVE Thanksgiving...let me count the ways!

I do, I really do LOVE Thanksgiving...absolutely ALL of it...from the turkey, gravy and stuffing to the sweet potatoes and green beans to the cranberry sauce and pumpkin bread, not to mention the pumpkin, pecan and apple pies and the wine...red for me...OH LA LA!!!

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday of the year because in addition to the fabulous aforementioned food there is none of that awful gift giving frenzy involved. It is just all about eating great food, drinking even better wines and enjoying a mostly relaxing day with the people you love the most. It's pure heaven for me, especially when my family behaves themselves.

The Famous Pumpkin Bread

When I'm not drowning in chocolate bliss, I am quite partial to all things pumpkin, maple and pecan so Thanksgiving is a personal bonanza for me. This holiday would not be complete without my Grandma Rose and Aunt Irene's famous pumpkin bread. I swear I have been eating this bread for as long as I can remember and there is not a single person in my family that is not crazy for it. The baton was passed to me two years ago making me the official baker of it for Thanksgiving and other occasions. I have gotten so good at baking it (while channeling my grandma and aunt!) that it is now famous beyond just my family. Friends and strangers alike beg for it...sometimes the demand for it makes me positively dizzy! Try it when you get a chance...you will not be disappointed!

The Magnificent Maple Walnut (Pecan) Layer Cake

As for something maple and pecany to offer up I am going to suggest the first cake I made in my most recent incarnation as a baker goddess. It is from the wonderful Magnolia Bakery in NYC. They call it Maple Walnut Cake with Fluffy Maple Frosting. Since I change the walnuts to pecans (my obvious preference) I technically could call it Maple Pecan Layer Cake but I won't in deference to the geniuses that created it in the first place. In any case, make it...I promise you a chance to experience nirvana.

Well, I would love to continue to regale you with and relive my Thanksgiving memories but I must get back to my baking...people are counting on me! I hope your holiday is as sweet as can be filled with love, laughter and lovely, heartfelt memories to last a lifetime.

xoxo Nanci

The Wondrous Miracle of Adoption

As you might already know I adopted my son, Joshua, from birth (he is now eleven) as a single woman. Yep, Prince Charming just didn't show up in time (simply shocking, I know!) so I went ahead without him because I had a deep, profound desire to be a mommy.

First Meeting - 12 hours old

In the beginning of this single mother thought process I explored every available option out there; insemination, surrogacy, Chinese baby girls, Russian orphans, domestic adoption - private and county...you name it, I looked into it. However, after at least two years of ruminating over all my choices I settled on private domestic adoption. I had decided that I didn't want to be pregnant alone (with serious mental illnesses in my family I was very concerned about passing on that horrible legacy to an innocent child). I also knew that I wanted a newborn which brought me to private domestic adoption where a newborn is pretty much the norm. (In international and county adoptions the babies tend to be older, between 9 months to two years old).

I embarked on a journey that would turn out to be fraught with missteps and one real tragedy that was completely unforeseen. There were definitely times that I thought I would just die from all the heartache. In the end, I picked myself up and headed for my goal...a baby to raise and a family to call my own.

I met Elizabeth (over the phone at first) six weeks before her due date. She lived in Oklahoma at the time but was soon moving to Charleston, South Carolina to live with and marry the baby's father who was stationed there in the Navy. He also happened to be the father of her three year old daughter, Bryanna. They both had agreed that they weren't able or equipped to raise another baby, especially considering Elizabeth's constant struggles with serious liver disease...a battle she had been fighting since she was born. I was truly amazed at her resolve, not to mention her courage. What she was going to do...hand over her newborn baby to a virtual stranger was beyond my comprehension...it left me awestruck.

Joshua in his hospital basinette and with Elizabeth

There are far too many details to reveal in this blog of how my journey played out, but suffice it to say it was quite an adventure! Not only was Joshua supposed to be a girl (that's what the ultrasound showed...NOT!), but he ended up being born in the middle of Hurricane Floyd and we were evacuated when he was 48 hours old (that's right, me, alone with a newborn on an airplane in crowded airports...you should have seen the look I shot people who even thought of getting near him!)

As I was saying good-bye to Elizabeth in the dimly lit hospital parking lot the night before leaving Charleston I could not contain my emotions....my whole body was shaking. "Elizabeth, how can I ever thank you enough? I promise to love him with all my heart." And do you know what this twenty-one year old had the wherewithal to say to me? "Oh, no, Nanci, it's me who should be thanking you. I couldn't have done this without you. I knew the minute I spoke to you that you were the one." We were both crying as we hugged. I stood alone and waved good-bye to her as she drove away. "Thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you my angel."

To this day, I am blown away by Elizabeth's bravery and selflessness. (Tragically, she lost her battle with liver disease almost four years ago at the age of 30.) I continue to be brought to my knees by the sheer miracle of the baby, now preteen boy, that she entrusted me with to raise. How out of all the birth mothers and babies in the world did I get the one I got? He's so perfect...so right...so natural...so extraordinary. That is the MIRACLE of adoption...and every adoptive parent I know would agree...that none of us can imagine raising any other child than the one that found us...

I was bold enough to have a dream of being a mother. Elizabeth was bold enough to dream of a better life for her baby. We were two women, two mothers, looking for the same thing which we found in each other. We are both, now and forever, mothers of this wondrous, miraculous boy named Joshua...a blessing beyond measure...oh, don't get me started...I'll fall into a puddle of tears on the floor...

Joshua and his two mommies

Even though my life did not turn out the way I thought it would when I was a little girl dreaming of my future, in many ways it is so much better than I could have ever imagined it to be. As my beloved Aunt Irene used to say, "No matter what  happens in your life, Nanci, make it work for you." I pass her wisdom on to you in hopes that you will dream big, huge, fabulous dreams following them wherever they may want to lead you.

And if you're interested in more details of my journey to Joshua you can read the play I eventually wrote about my experience, "...AND BABY MAKES TWO - an adoption tale". Simply go to www.andbabymakestwo-anadoptiontale.com to order a copy of the Samuel French published version (on THE STORE page) as well as see video clips, photos, quotes, reviews, interviews, magazine articles, resource adoption info, etc.

Have a heavenly day filled with abundance...

xoxo Nanci aka Joshua's lucky mom

P.S. Joshua and his sister, Bryanna (now 14), keep in touch via Skype...how cool is that?!

Sugar & Stilettos - an obsessive baking odyssey..the PLAY!

This isn't going to be a long blog today because I am in the throes of a creative whirlwind...and when the muse strikes an artist, an artist must heed the call!

The Sugar & Stilettos play is such a different animal than my first play, "AND BABY MAKES TWO - an adoption tale" which was a linear, pretty much straight forward telling of my adoption journey to my son, Joshua, as a single woman. The S & S play is not linear at all...it is a story that weaves my crazy family baking saga through many decades bouncing from one event to another in no particular order at this point.

I am clear where I want my story to begin and end, but literally have no idea how I'm going to get there. Every time I sit down to write, it is a mystery that unfolds before my very eyes. Believe me, I am as surprised as anyone as to what comes from my mind to my fingertips on the keyboard and then onto the written page. This kind of writing for me is about as terrifying and exhilarating as it gets.

Throughout the process I have gotten into the habit of just letting whatever is within me flow without reservation or editing of any kind. Then, I go back hours or even days later, re-read what I've most recently written and start changing things. At times I am astonished (and embarrassed) at how horrible some of the writing is and then sometimes I am astonished (and quite proud) at how terrific some of it is. I am always astonished at the miracle of the transformation of the writing into anything that makes sense.

In the end, I hope to have a play that will make people laugh, touch their hearts as well as delight and inspire their souls to soar freely...ahh, the magic of the creative arts. I know this process keeps me going in this often jaded, fame obsessed world. And the thought of sharing my "new baby" with all of you as soon as its ready absolutely thrills me!

Aren't they gorgeous?!

In the meantime, bake yourself a treat (that's what I do in between my energetic spurts of writing). The baking keeps my creative juices flowing and makes a lot of people happy since I give away most of what I bake. You might want to try this recipe...MAPLE CUPCAKES with MAPLE CREAM CHEESE FROSTING...it's a real winner and I highly recommend it!

So, go forth mes amis and fill your day with whatever creative/artistic endeavor makes your heart sing a happy song...

xoxo Nanci

A Weighty Issue - Women and Our Body Battles

I'm still ruminating about yesterday's OPRAH show. I don't watch much television in general and even less of the daytime stuff but actress Portia di Rossi was going to be Oprah's guest talking about her new book, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain that chronicles her struggles with anorexia, bulimia and her sexuality. It looked like an interesting show. It actually turned out to be not just interesting, but thought provoking and incredibly touching.

As most of the world has come to know, Portia di Rossi is a beautiful, accomplished actress who is also married to talk show host and comedian, Ellen de Generes. What people haven't known about her was that beginning at the age of 12 with her first diet to conform to modeling standards in her native Australia she began a slippery and often treacherous slide into food and body obsession hell. As she described the craziness in her head during those years of self torment and the rituals she performed to try to control her body I clearly saw my younger self.

Though I never slid into anorexia or bulimia I teetered on the brink of both. Thinking about food every waking moment of the day and sometimes all night long became a way of being. Every morsel of food that went into my mouth, what its calorie count was, how I could get rid of the extra calories or pounds (exercise, diuretics) and what I weighed was the main focus of my day...every day for years on end. I jumped on the scale constantly. I looked at my body in the mirror with an eagle eye a hundred times a day. I measured my thighs, waist and hips daily noting the slightest change in my agenda book. One to two pounds over what I thought was acceptable would send me into a tailspin, five pounds could render me suicidal.

So, as I listened to Portia describe her battles, I relived a few of my own. I felt grateful, that while I am still too focused on how my body looks (like most women) I am far beyond where I used to be. I must say that menopause has been humbling for me. My eating habits haven't really changed much in the last 10-15 years but my body is changing as it sees fit. It doesn't ask me if I approve or if I'm in agreement...it just does what the hell it feels like, leaving me to deal with the results whatever they may be...which I do for the most part.

The road was long and tormented. It took me forever to be even somewhat at peace with myself and the way my body looks. There were times when I thought I wasn't going to make it, but I can honestly say that I am no longer tethered to my scale and that I have found happiness in things of real meaning which have enriched my life more than any idealized version of my body could have ever provided.

When Portia said that she no longer puts any restrictions on her food intake whether it be the type of food she eats or the portions of those foods because she now eats what makes her happy...and that when she's happy her body just seems to take care of itself and be where it needs to be. That made so much sense to me. It clearly is why when I am in my beloved France I eat and drink everything I want, don't worry about any of it, never step on a scale and always come home not having gained an ounce! Why? Because I am simply being in the moment over there, deliriously happy just to soak up the beauty that surrounds me, grateful for the life that I have. As a reward for this joy of self-acceptance my body takes care of itself in the best possible way...it just enjoys being alive.

Coconut Cream Cake - Isn't she pretty?!

So, tonight when I have dinner with my good friends, Eleanor and Susan, (all of our cherished children are away this week on a school camping trip so we're living it up!) I am going to eat and drink to my heart's content. I'm going to have an especially BIG piece of the gorgeous Coconut Cream Cake with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting I made for the occasion and I am going to ENJOY it with total abandon!

Here's hoping that you can break free of whatever chains bind you... that you can live your life freely letting self acceptance and love lead the way...because REALLY aren't we all more than the sum of our outward body parts or a silly number on a scale? Something to think about mes belles...

xoxo Nanci

P.S. Thank you Portia for your simple, straightforward bravery and honesty in sharing your story.