The Wondrous Miracle of Adoption

As you might already know I adopted my son, Joshua, from birth (he is now eleven) as a single woman. Yep, Prince Charming just didn't show up in time (simply shocking, I know!) so I went ahead without him because I had a deep, profound desire to be a mommy.

First Meeting - 12 hours old

In the beginning of this single mother thought process I explored every available option out there; insemination, surrogacy, Chinese baby girls, Russian orphans, domestic adoption - private and county...you name it, I looked into it. However, after at least two years of ruminating over all my choices I settled on private domestic adoption. I had decided that I didn't want to be pregnant alone (with serious mental illnesses in my family I was very concerned about passing on that horrible legacy to an innocent child). I also knew that I wanted a newborn which brought me to private domestic adoption where a newborn is pretty much the norm. (In international and county adoptions the babies tend to be older, between 9 months to two years old).

I embarked on a journey that would turn out to be fraught with missteps and one real tragedy that was completely unforeseen. There were definitely times that I thought I would just die from all the heartache. In the end, I picked myself up and headed for my goal...a baby to raise and a family to call my own.

I met Elizabeth (over the phone at first) six weeks before her due date. She lived in Oklahoma at the time but was soon moving to Charleston, South Carolina to live with and marry the baby's father who was stationed there in the Navy. He also happened to be the father of her three year old daughter, Bryanna. They both had agreed that they weren't able or equipped to raise another baby, especially considering Elizabeth's constant struggles with serious liver disease...a battle she had been fighting since she was born. I was truly amazed at her resolve, not to mention her courage. What she was going to do...hand over her newborn baby to a virtual stranger was beyond my comprehension...it left me awestruck.

Joshua in his hospital basinette and with Elizabeth

There are far too many details to reveal in this blog of how my journey played out, but suffice it to say it was quite an adventure! Not only was Joshua supposed to be a girl (that's what the ultrasound showed...NOT!), but he ended up being born in the middle of Hurricane Floyd and we were evacuated when he was 48 hours old (that's right, me, alone with a newborn on an airplane in crowded airports...you should have seen the look I shot people who even thought of getting near him!)

As I was saying good-bye to Elizabeth in the dimly lit hospital parking lot the night before leaving Charleston I could not contain my emotions....my whole body was shaking. "Elizabeth, how can I ever thank you enough? I promise to love him with all my heart." And do you know what this twenty-one year old had the wherewithal to say to me? "Oh, no, Nanci, it's me who should be thanking you. I couldn't have done this without you. I knew the minute I spoke to you that you were the one." We were both crying as we hugged. I stood alone and waved good-bye to her as she drove away. "Thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you my angel."

To this day, I am blown away by Elizabeth's bravery and selflessness. (Tragically, she lost her battle with liver disease almost four years ago at the age of 30.) I continue to be brought to my knees by the sheer miracle of the baby, now preteen boy, that she entrusted me with to raise. How out of all the birth mothers and babies in the world did I get the one I got? He's so perfect...so right...so natural...so extraordinary. That is the MIRACLE of adoption...and every adoptive parent I know would agree...that none of us can imagine raising any other child than the one that found us...

I was bold enough to have a dream of being a mother. Elizabeth was bold enough to dream of a better life for her baby. We were two women, two mothers, looking for the same thing which we found in each other. We are both, now and forever, mothers of this wondrous, miraculous boy named Joshua...a blessing beyond measure...oh, don't get me started...I'll fall into a puddle of tears on the floor...

Joshua and his two mommies

Even though my life did not turn out the way I thought it would when I was a little girl dreaming of my future, in many ways it is so much better than I could have ever imagined it to be. As my beloved Aunt Irene used to say, "No matter what  happens in your life, Nanci, make it work for you." I pass her wisdom on to you in hopes that you will dream big, huge, fabulous dreams following them wherever they may want to lead you.

And if you're interested in more details of my journey to Joshua you can read the play I eventually wrote about my experience, "...AND BABY MAKES TWO - an adoption tale". Simply go to www.andbabymakestwo-anadoptiontale.com to order a copy of the Samuel French published version (on THE STORE page) as well as see video clips, photos, quotes, reviews, interviews, magazine articles, resource adoption info, etc.

Have a heavenly day filled with abundance...

xoxo Nanci aka Joshua's lucky mom

P.S. Joshua and his sister, Bryanna (now 14), keep in touch via Skype...how cool is that?!