Change is in the Air!

I am hellbent on making some changes in my life this year. I don't know where any of them will lead and I don't really care at this point. I just know that the way things have been in recent months is not making me happy or allowing me to feel fulfilled...I know, I know I mentioned this in the last blog...well, this is the follow-up so bear with me.

I am well aware that change only comes from action and that each one of us is responsible for taking the initiative to bring about change in our lives...NO ONE ELSE can do it for us...NO ONE ELSE will do it for us...so that's the first really big piece of information to digest. Alright, so it's up to you...in this case ME to begin creating some action that will take me out of the doldrums and propel me forward.

The basic overall emotion that I've been feeling is that my life feels stagnate, a bit old and tired....like it's gotten away from my essence, from what's important to me. I feel it in my home, I feel it in my body, I feel it in my thinking...so I decided to look deeply into what I could do to shake up that perspective.

First, I started with my work...specifically my next play, "SUGAR & STILETTOS - an obsessive baking odyssey" which has been put on the back burner for a long time as other things took precedence or as I allowed other things to take precedence. I wanted to get back to my creative/artistic self...I have been craving that big time so I began doing some re-writes towards the end of last year. Then I asked a few friends (writers and directors) for feedback. Their responses were more than I could have hoped for. Clearly, the play is not done...in fact, has a long way to go until it would be ready for a full production (the development process is pretty long...1-2 years)...but the feedback indicated that I was on the right track and that perhaps a lot farther along in the process than I believed. This delighted me to no end and was really encouraging.

Next, I began to look in to people who could develop the project with me and eventually direct it. After, just one conversation with someone that was recommended to me I knew what I had to do. I had to call Mark Travis and see if we couldn't work together again. It became crystal clear to me that I couldn't waste my time on someone else's learning curve. I needed someone who really knows this solo show world, someone who I already respected and trusted, someone who would know how to pull the rest of the story out of me and guide me through the process...I knew that person was Mark Travis...the person who got me to start writing over 15 years ago...the person who believed that I had a voice and stories that were worth telling...the person who got me back on the ice where I did another ten years of training and competing... the person who is smart, funny, warm and caring...so Mark and I talked for a long time on the phone yesterday and today I sent him a copy of the most recent draft of the play.

I'm not sure where this will lead. It's going to cost me money that I don't have...but I MUST do it. After my conversation with Mark I felt a calm come over me. I instinctively knew that having Mark back in my life and on this project (and at this particular time) was EXACTLY the right thing to do and EXACTLY what I needed to re-connect with my artist self. It feels like I am taking care of the most sacred part of myself. That alone makes me giddy imagining all the possibilities and challenges that lie ahead...every bit of it so perfect in its own way.

Second, I looked at my home environment. Now, although I have an adorable, cozy little house filled with emotional treasures, it has been feeling worn out and dated...like I've out grown it by a dress size or two. So, I made the leap...again money I don't have...and called Kathy Delgado of Vintageweave Interiors. I've known Kathy for several years...she is a doll, a fellow Francophile who designs and decorates in the French farmhouse style (often for big celebs). I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this rustic and refined look!

I have never hired anyone to help me with my house, which I've owned for almost fifteen years but I just KNEW deep in my heart and soul that Kathy was the answer, was the home angel that I needed. Well, she came sweeping in and in our first two hour meeting had me purging books, knick knacks and picture frames as if I were in a frenzy. She immediately started re-purposing items and envisioning new looks for the house...especially the living room, kitchen and my bedroom. I was entranced...the spaces (literally and figuratively) that she opened up that day felt intoxicating in their openness, in their vibrancy, in their simplicity...OOH LA LA...I was so happy! Kathy came back for another visit last week...three hours this time...when she left I was even happier than before! On Saturday my new bed arrived and VOILA a whole new era has begun. The rest of the changes Kathy has in mind will unfold over time but all is in motion and no longer standing still...a wonder to behold...

Lastly, I am working at cleaning out the cobwebs in my mind and body. This, of course, is a bit trickier than the other stuff, so all I've really accomplished thus far is to be aware of my thought process and pay more attention to taking care of my body...be kinder to it and get it moving/exercising on a more regular basis. I feel the shifting of attitudes going on already...giving me a calmer, gentler perspective. I'll keep you posted as to how this process reveals itself to me over time...

So, my lovelies, what are you going to change this year in your life to make yourself more joyful, more fulfilled? I can't wait to hear all the details of your awakening...

xoxo Nanci, Your Adoring Sugar Queen