The Private/Public School Dilemma

I was raised in the...well, let's just say a while ago. The California public school system was one of the best in the country...I think it was ranked #1 or #2 thanks in no small part to Gov. Pat Brown's (Jerry's father) commitment to education. I went to elementary, junior and high school at LAUSD (Los Angeles Unified School District) schools. There were after school programs for free, special music, drama and art programs, books and general supplies were provided, some field trips took place and major teacher involvement. Parent-Teacher conferences were held in the evening after a full days' work. Everyone got two weeks vacation at Christmas time, one week in the Spring, four days at Thanksgiving and a few other days for National holidays like Memorial Day...but that was about it. There were no half days, pupil free days, writing for teacher days, splash fun days, camping trips (other than if you were in the Girl or Boy Scouts) or anything else like that. You went to school with your friends in the neighborhood, did your work, got a report card at the middle and end of every semester and you had the summer off for camp, family vacations or whatever. Sure, there was an active PTA and the occasional bake sale/fundraiser but it was not a prominent part of the school experience. It was all pretty straight forward. Private schools in those days were for the very elite or mostly for those who got kicked out of the public schools and HAD to go to a private school to get an education.

I also went to UC Berkeley getting a fabulous university education that cost A LOT less money then the one nearby at Stanford in Palo Alto. Us Cal Bears used to have a good laugh about that from time to time...no offense intended to Stanford students or alumni! As I understand it, Berkeley is still ranked the #1 public university in this country.

But, something changed along the way. Ronald Reagan became governor of California and initiated cut backs that began to dismantle the California public school system in the most egregious ways. I remember my mother complaining loudly about it because all four of her children were attending local public schools. Bit by bit the schools fell apart. Bit by bit scores and literacy fell. Bit by bit the system became an almost unfixable shambles...which is how I encountered it as my son, Joshua, got ready to attend kindergarten.

It made me sad to know that the wonderful schools that I had attended were no longer wonderful. And even though I didn't live in the district for those schools, the one I did live in presented the same problems. To be honest, actually, the elementary school in my district is a good charter school but the middle and high schools (once great schools) are disasters. So, I was faced with a dilemma. Do I send Joshua to the neighborhood charter school and then go the private school route at 6th grade or do I bite the bullet now, opting for a private school that goes through 12th grade and be done with it. After many serious inner monologues with myself I decided to check out the private schools within a reasonable distance from my home and see what they had to offer. I also told myself that if Joshua didn't get in to a private school that I felt was really worth the money it would invariably cost, that he would go to our charter school and we would just deal with the 6th grade transition when we had to.

The Reader's digest of this saga is that my son and I (because they truly do look at each child and their family) did get into our first choice...a terrific, liberal, progressive school that I thought would not only give Joshua a great education but also a great foundation for being a productive and compassionate member of society. I bit the bullet big time and dove in to this very new and strange world...at least for me.

Joshua is now in the 5th grade...his last year of elementary school before he moves up and over to the middle/upper school campus a few blocks away. My son knows nothing else...this is the only education he has been offered and is experiencing...for the most part, it has been a perfect match for him and our less than conventional family. Me, separately on the other hand, do have something else to compare it to. I find that it often baffles me...this whole private school world. It just seems sometimes to be so surreal...because even though the student/parent population is quite diverse economically, ethnically, religiously, socially (all unusually rare for most private schools) there are still plenty of people that feel very entitled and who seem to have forgotten that not everyone breathes their particular brand of rarefied air. It also costs a small fortune and often seems to me that the more you pay the less these children actually go to school!

To be clear, there are many advantages at my son's school and others like it that don't exist in even the best public schools. The attention to each child's emotional life, issues and ways of learning are truly extraordinary. The ratio of teachers and faculty to students, also extraordinary. The sense of community and fun, not to mention the throngs of specialists that round out the academic/arts/sports/technology programs, again extraordinary. Yet, in addition to paying the ridiculously high tuition, the school demands that you practically give your blood. There are constant demands for your money for one thing or another, for your volunteer time, for your involvement in all the minutiae that daily goes on...it can feel very overwhelming, exhausting and intrusive at times.

And then, of course, I wonder, if in the end, does it really matter? Will Joshua's life in general be that dramatically altered by being at this particular school as opposed to the public schools he would have otherwise attended? The honest answer is, I don't know for sure and probably never will because this is the direction we chose and this is the path we're on. But, I do wonder...I do still wonder...

xoxo Nanci

P.S. Considering that I am now known as "The Baker Mom" (baking being one of the ways I've found I enjoy volunteering) here's a great recipe to make for your school's next party or fundraiser...S'MORE NUT BARS. I guarantee you that it's a sure winner!